I also have to say, the Telegraph reviewer seems to have almost intentionally misunderstood the car. BMW had two options to make the car the Telegraph reviewer expected:
1) Defy the laws of physics.
2) Ignore customer demands and build a great handling car at the sacrifice of customer demands for more space.
Option 1 is impossible (thx, Newton!). Option 2 is just stupid. They'd end up with another saloon. Then what is the point? I much preferred Autocar's take. They weren't crazy about the car -- because let's face it, this is the equivalent of BMW grocery-getter-crossover -- but they recognized what it was, and credited on its merits in that context.
2010 135i - TiAg Coral Red 6MT ///M-Sport
2013 X3 28i - N20 Mineral Silver / Sand Beige / Premium, Tech