i'd say get the xenons out of your choices listed, as i love the look personally, but... if you really like the driving experience of a BMW, spend that $1000 on the dynamic handling package.
or scrape up another $1200 and get sport line.
a. dakota leather isn't very good, not to mention it will wear , i dont think most people can tell between this and leatherette. its actually pretty hard and tough i'd spend money elsewhere. maybe if it was say merino or some of the super nice leathers in 7 series etc...
b. lighting is a nice package, this would be my choice out of the ones you listed.
c. this is sometimes useful, but well its not an SUV you can probably get by without it, if i'm picking one option well this isnt it.
d. you probably should listen to this in 2 different F30s, but i personally didn't think it was worth it especially if you are trying to keep the number of options low. it does not seem hugely better, the stock system on the F30 is pretty nice, better than the e90 stock (and the e90 isnt even that bad)